If I had a gun for every ace I have drawn,
I could arm a town the size of Abilene
Don’t you push me baby, cause I’m all alone
And you know I’m only in it for the gold
All that I am asking for is ten gold dollars
And I could pay you back with one good hand
You can look around about the wide world over
And you’ll never find another honest man.
Last fair deal in the country
Last fair deal in the town
Put your gold dollars where your love is baby
Before I let my deal go down
Don’t you push me baby, cause I’m all alone
Well I know a little something you might never know
Don’t you touch our liquor, just a cup of cold coffee
Gonna wake up in the morning and go
Everybody bragging and drinking that wine
I can tell the Queen of Diamonds by the way she shines
Come to papa on the inside straight
Well I got no chance of losin’ this time
Loser was the second piece of the story I wrote after I finished the first draft of the chapters dealing with Jane’s complaint and Tania in HR. The final product bears little resemblance to that first draft. At the time, I still grappled with making sense of it all, having given little thought to the meeting when it happened. With each revision, I recalled more details. I recalled being extremely nervous, but on the other hand I was indifferent to the MP’s sham inquiry and its purpose. Squaring those memories took intense introspection, and I had no notes of the encounter – I had no way of knowing its significance at the time, and I had no reason to write down notes of what happened because I knew that telling Tania in HR about it would accomplish nothing.
Eventually, my mind resolved the paradox. I was nervous because I was dealing with an unstable person, but indifferent because I knew I had done nothing wrong. I can only imagine what transpired outside of my purview that emboldened Colonel Bermudez himself to insert himself into what was, in my view, an irrelevant, albeit amusing, aside. Someday I will have to find out.