Who’s to blame when parties really get out of hand?
Who’s to blame when they get poorly planned?
Crashers get bombed, slobs make a mess
You know sometimes they’ll even ruin your wife’s dress
Crashers getttin’ bombed
Who’s to blame?
Can you pull it back in line?
Can you salvage it in time?
What can you do to save a party?
Parcheesi, charades
A spur-of-the-moment scavenger hunt
Or Queen of the Nile?
Bombed, crashers gettin’ bombed
Who’s to blame when situations degenerate?
Disgusting things you’d never anticipate?
People get sick, they play the wrong games
You know, it could ruin your name
It shouldn’t be difficult
Try not to condemn
Okay, who ordered pizza?
I’ll be tactful when making the rounds
Be tactful when making the rounds and maybe
You can save a party gone out of bounds
Pinch Me: Barenaked Ladies
Also one of the greatest air-bass songs ever composed.
It’s the perfect time of year, Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess, Considering everything’s a mess
There’s a restaurant down the street, Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk but I’ll just drive, It’s colder than it looks outside
Like a dream you try to remember but it’s gone
Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when you
try to see the world, beyond your front door
Take your time, is the way I rhyme gonna make you smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take a while
Just to try to figure out what all this is for
It’s the perfect time of day, To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn, And run through with my gym shorts on
Take a drink right from the hose, And change into some dryer clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room, Sleep away the afternoon
Pinch me, pinch me, I’m still asleep
Please God, tell me, I’m still asleep
On an evening such as this, It’s hard to tell if I exist
If I pack the car and leave this town, Who’ll notice that I’m not around
I could hide out under there, I just made you say “underwear”
I could leave but I’ll just stay, All my stuff’s here anyway
The Cutter: Echo & the Bunnymen
Who’s on the seventh floor
Brewing alternatives
What’s in the bottom drawer
Waiting for things to give
Spare us the cutter
Couldn’t cut the mustard
Conquering myself
Until I see another hurdle approaching
Say we can, say we will
Not just another drop in the ocean
Come to the free for all
With seven tapered knives
Some of them six feet tall
We will escape our lives
Am I the happy loss
Will I still recoil
When the skin is lost
Am I the worthy cross
Will I still be soiled
When the dirt is off
Fools’ Gold: The Stone Roses
Gold road’s sure a long road
Winds on through the hills for fifteen days
The pack on my back is aching
The straps seem to cut me like a knife
I’m no clown, I won’t back down
I don’t need you to tell me what’s going down
I’m standing alone, I’m watching you all
I see you sinking
I’m standing alone, you’re weighing the gold
I watch you sinking
Fool’s gold
These boots were made for walking
The Marquis de Sade don’t wear no boots like these
Gold’s just around the corner
Breakdown’s coming up ’round the bend
Sometimes you have to try to get along, dear
I know the truth and I know what you’re thinking
The Puppet: Echo & the Bunnymen
I’ll practice my fall for practice makes perfect
Chained to the wall for maximum hold
The window’s too far, too far from my legs
Open the door and let out the cold
You knew about this
With your head in your hands
All along
I was the puppet
Trampolines broken ceiling has come down
The ache in my back tells me something’s gone wrong
Rocking horse rocks as the wallpaper peels
Curtain would like to know what he has done
We’re the salt of the earth
We know what to say
Monkey and the Engineer: The Grateful Dead
Once upon a time there was an engineer
Drove a locomotive both far and near
Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do
One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat
He left the monkey sitting on the driver’s seat
The monkey pulled the throttle locomotive jumped the gun
And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line
Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind
The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone
To tell him all about his locomotive was gone
Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right
Cause the monkey’s got the main line sewed up tight
The switch operator got the message on time
Said there’s a Northbound livin’ on the same main line
Open up the switch I’m gonna let him through the hole
Cause the monkey’s got the locomotive under control
Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before: The Smiths
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before
Nothing’s changed I still love you, oh, I still love you
Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love
I was delayed, I was way-laid
An emergency stop
I smelt the last ten seconds of life
I crashed down on the crossbar
And the pain was enough to make a shy, bald, Buddhist reflect
And plan a mass murder
Who said I’d lied to her?
Oh, who said I’d lied because I never? I never
Who said I’d lied because I never?
I was detained, I was restrained
And broke my spleen and broke my knee
And then he really laced into me
Friday night in-out patients
Who said I’d lied to her?
Oh, who said I’d lied? Because I never, I never
Who said I’d lied? Because I never
And so I drank one it became four
And when I fell on the floor I drank more
The Strange Remain: The Other Ones
I’ve been searching in sectors both private and dark
With the eye of a witness – silent and stark
Seen everything that goes on in the night
Things that are twisted and hide from the light
Things that live under the rock and the stone
Flesh like a fever on a platter of bone
Blacker than blackness and whiter than white
Things that live only on the edges of sight
So I pack my sack with a fistful of fire
There are cutthroats and thieves in this night of desire
Who steals this treasure must contend with its flame
Where only the strange remain
Looking deep and then deeper into every face
Past beauty and wisdom, past gender and race
I see a lone hungry wolf in a shining blue flame
And only the strange remain
I’m dying of thirst with a drink in my hand
Praying for something that I don’t understand
One foot on the gravel, one foot in the sky
Too reckless to live and too careful to die
When the moment has passed
With death at the door
Will you still look for answers
Will you still beg for more?
Will you slip into silence or ride with the pain
Where only the strange remain
Tell me friend, have you noticed of late
How only the strange remain?
I’m speaking about the cream of the strange
Not the merely weird, out of sight or insane
No, only the strange remain
They keep on talking just to rattle their teeth
A light coat of surface and nothing beneath
They’re fishing for answers with love as the bait
Related to something that time doesn’t date
Soon as it’s spoken, it no longer applies
Words twist and stutter and deliver up sighs
If truth is impossible, so is the lie
There’s no in-between, you can’t swim, you can’t fly
At the uttermost link at the end of our chain
Only the strange remain
Rattlesnake: Kingfish
Easy Answers: The Grateful Dead
Promises made in the dark dissolve by light of day
Ain’t no saying what will be, it’s always been that way
Only thing I know for sure, someone got to pay
Ain’t no easy answers, is what I got to say
I don’t wanna hear
Ain’t nobody cares
C’mon let’s go
I don’t wanna know
Love is an easy word to say, roll’s right off the tongue
Seems to crop up like a weed, in every song that’s sung
It always sounds so easy, the way it falls upon the ear
Plenty easy answers now, listen to me here
Shut your eyes and listen to the colors of your mind
Give yourself a breath of air, let your soul unwind
You don’t have to say a word, you got dick to say
‘Cause no-one ever said there’s gonna be an easy way
Best Places To Work! 